Books waiting eagerly to have their pages turned.
I'm on GoodReads now. I don't review like I did here in Current Reads, but I enjoy keeping a record of which graphic novels I've experienced. A while back, I had a hell of a time trying to remember one and Googled vague plot points for hours. And it's worse for nonfiction. I went to our main city library and stumbled up and down one aisle for 30 minutes, asking two different staff members to help me find a much-needed book on African nomadic architecture. I couldn't remember the title or the author, searching the catalog seemed pointless, and apparently the Dewey Decimal System makes zero amount of sense to me. Imagine my increased capacity for headdesking when the title "African Nomadic Architecture" popped up as soon as I got home.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
More studies.
I wanted to practice some earth textures, so flipping open "Tibet: The Secret Continent" by Michael Peissel was a great place to start. Oh, Tibet.
And then my studious model posed for me a bit.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Breaking down barriers.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my story, namely from a "what will people think?" perspective.
I have known for some years now that my main characters are really just reflections of me. Whose aren't? I come from an apparently pretty abnormal background of well-concealed emotional abuse, mental illness, and the struggle of separating sexual identity from personal worth. Then, the ensuing rebellion and looking to the other extremes to find something better. This is some heavy stuff, and it comes out. How will it be interpreted? I hope some background information can save me from looking like a very, very strange person. Or at least explain why that person is very, very strange.
Melodrama is a tone I'd like to avoid in my storytelling, but I guess I've felt pretty melodramatic at times.
See, my father was a fanatical atheist Darwinist. Growing up, I heard a lot of talk about who was and wasn't fit to survive, who "deserved to" or "should" breed, and explicit rules about who I could and couldn't date (women, as well as men of color, being on the "you can never come home" list - and I better have white grandkids, or else). He pointed out every biracial child on television, made it pretty clear that women were subservient, and freaked out about recessive genes - namely blonde hair and blue eyes - being lost in the gene pool because they were marks of superiority. There were also a number of conspiracy theories and firm words about my not supporting mass genocide of an entire region (that I was actually secretly researching and finding artistic inspiration from). I experienced a lot of anxiety, repression, guilt, depression, anger, and fear as a result.
So I think it's no surprise that one way I cope with and challenge all this extreme thinking in my fantasy macroculture. Homosexuality is pretty widely accepted, women are more free with their bodies, bloodlines are considered secondary to the forces of reincarnation, mutations happen fairly frequently, and there's tons of interbreeding between the races. We start off with folklore of peoples of specific colors and, due to the melting pot, everyone gets mixed up and we see a lot of different skin tones, eye colors, etc. I intentionally took a lot of different features from races here on earth and mixed-and-matched them. I can't ignore the way I intrinsically notice racial features and genetic lineage, but I can at least channel it into a world where the interpretations are not so hateful and negative.
And when racism, genocide, homophobia, etc. does happen, you'll see it through the eyes of characters that are struggling to find their way through it all. The conflict is going to be intense and with pretty steep consequences. My childhood was definitely that!
A biracial couple from a tribal region. Because of this match, the child will likely be sterile, but neither of them cares. The spirit lives forever. That's the world I "live" in when I draw.
I have known for some years now that my main characters are really just reflections of me. Whose aren't? I come from an apparently pretty abnormal background of well-concealed emotional abuse, mental illness, and the struggle of separating sexual identity from personal worth. Then, the ensuing rebellion and looking to the other extremes to find something better. This is some heavy stuff, and it comes out. How will it be interpreted? I hope some background information can save me from looking like a very, very strange person. Or at least explain why that person is very, very strange.
Melodrama is a tone I'd like to avoid in my storytelling, but I guess I've felt pretty melodramatic at times.
See, my father was a fanatical atheist Darwinist. Growing up, I heard a lot of talk about who was and wasn't fit to survive, who "deserved to" or "should" breed, and explicit rules about who I could and couldn't date (women, as well as men of color, being on the "you can never come home" list - and I better have white grandkids, or else). He pointed out every biracial child on television, made it pretty clear that women were subservient, and freaked out about recessive genes - namely blonde hair and blue eyes - being lost in the gene pool because they were marks of superiority. There were also a number of conspiracy theories and firm words about my not supporting mass genocide of an entire region (that I was actually secretly researching and finding artistic inspiration from). I experienced a lot of anxiety, repression, guilt, depression, anger, and fear as a result.
So I think it's no surprise that one way I cope with and challenge all this extreme thinking in my fantasy macroculture. Homosexuality is pretty widely accepted, women are more free with their bodies, bloodlines are considered secondary to the forces of reincarnation, mutations happen fairly frequently, and there's tons of interbreeding between the races. We start off with folklore of peoples of specific colors and, due to the melting pot, everyone gets mixed up and we see a lot of different skin tones, eye colors, etc. I intentionally took a lot of different features from races here on earth and mixed-and-matched them. I can't ignore the way I intrinsically notice racial features and genetic lineage, but I can at least channel it into a world where the interpretations are not so hateful and negative.
And when racism, genocide, homophobia, etc. does happen, you'll see it through the eyes of characters that are struggling to find their way through it all. The conflict is going to be intense and with pretty steep consequences. My childhood was definitely that!
A biracial couple from a tribal region. Because of this match, the child will likely be sterile, but neither of them cares. The spirit lives forever. That's the world I "live" in when I draw.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Life drawing.
A spouse takes on a lot of cost-effective roles, one of which is a nude model that doesn't require payment or leaving the house. Thanks to my husband, who is a super good sport. Foreshortening terrifies me, but I love the shoulder/armpit/upper arm area so much that I'm willing to work through it.
Once I get warmed up and feel comfortable with anatomy again, I like feeling the different thick-to-thins slide off the graphite oh so naturally. Made up people! Whee!
Once I get warmed up and feel comfortable with anatomy again, I like feeling the different thick-to-thins slide off the graphite oh so naturally. Made up people! Whee!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Caste.
2/3 are of the high caste, but a different 2/3 are going to the festival in their lifetimes. What's the deal?
A rough tidbit of a scene I'm working out. Also: FABRIC.
A rough tidbit of a scene I'm working out. Also: FABRIC.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!
I love organizing my drafting table. It's now in a nice, sunny corner. Potted plants on one side and an aquarium on the other. The hubbs cut up some corkboard for me and mounted it quite creatively to maximize space for actual posting. I also got a hand mirror to test out expressions without running to a door-mounted frame. Domo is there for motivational purposes.
Also been filling up my worldmaking binders and making a real push toward having enough background to arrange a real draft. (But WHICH CHARACTER. OH NO. I really cannot choose!) I think one of my main hangups has always been trying to start from the beginning. It's important to sketch out scenes that occur throughout the story so you can identify unifying themes and styles - and potentially find those plot holes! So I've been doing that. Anyway. Rings, tabs, stickies, highlighters, notes, xerox copies... takes me back to school reports. Except this is more fun and its application actually makes sense. Thanks, eighth grade!
This stack weighs over 7 pounds now. And there's oh so much left to do.
I recently discovered the ao yem and I love, love, love it. As much as I love huipils, saris, and turbans? Probably not. But it's wonderful coming across ethnic (I'm still allowed to say this as a homogenized white person, right?) fashions. The way cultures use fabrics to achieve universal goals, sometimes so different and sometimes very much the same... super intriguing.
Here's my Giftmas present. Are you shocked that I didn't own it before now? Me too. It's already littered with Post-it flags like an evangelical's bible. And that's basically what it is, really. DOES ANYONE WANT TO BORROW MY COPY. BECAUSE IT WILL ROCK YOUR WORLD. That said, I'm extremely happy to have it. I've already pinned one choice page on my board for reference.
Also been filling up my worldmaking binders and making a real push toward having enough background to arrange a real draft. (But WHICH CHARACTER. OH NO. I really cannot choose!) I think one of my main hangups has always been trying to start from the beginning. It's important to sketch out scenes that occur throughout the story so you can identify unifying themes and styles - and potentially find those plot holes! So I've been doing that. Anyway. Rings, tabs, stickies, highlighters, notes, xerox copies... takes me back to school reports. Except this is more fun and its application actually makes sense. Thanks, eighth grade!
This stack weighs over 7 pounds now. And there's oh so much left to do.
I recently discovered the ao yem and I love, love, love it. As much as I love huipils, saris, and turbans? Probably not. But it's wonderful coming across ethnic (I'm still allowed to say this as a homogenized white person, right?) fashions. The way cultures use fabrics to achieve universal goals, sometimes so different and sometimes very much the same... super intriguing.
Here's my Giftmas present. Are you shocked that I didn't own it before now? Me too. It's already littered with Post-it flags like an evangelical's bible. And that's basically what it is, really. DOES ANYONE WANT TO BORROW MY COPY. BECAUSE IT WILL ROCK YOUR WORLD. That said, I'm extremely happy to have it. I've already pinned one choice page on my board for reference.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
More hypomania!
I've been rapid cycling this past week. At times I'm sobbing into a bowl of ice cream; at other times I am exclaiming "I AM AWESOME!!" and coming up with a dozen new ideas for artwork - faster than I can write them down.
It's exhilarating feeling the charge that I did when I was 16... notating a jazz piece, not even really knowing anything about jazz. Or 20... decorating my wall with Post-it notes detailing the plot structure of my latest epic. It's not all glorious, of course - for example, the alternate days spent in bed crying, refusing to eat, and thinking that I am totally worthless and just want to die. But when I'm sitting at my art desk and there is magic in my fingertips, I wonder what the hell I've been doing trying to level my moods in the first place. (Don't tell my psychiatrist I said that.) Could all the suffering be worth it just to have that occasional spark? Today, the answer seems to be "yes". If I can just learn to harness it and think through the proper stages of a project...
I'll feel differently tomorrow, of course, like I always do. It's just been a few enchanting days of glimmering hopes, changes of heart, and grandiose plans. I'd like to at least allow myself to feel some joy. I'm getting somewhat closer to making sense of how to ride those waves without being pulled into a rip tide. At least, I'd like to think so. I would so love to figure out how to channel my energy into actually getting something done. There are so many stories I want to tell!
Here's a dancing silver woman that appeared on my paper.
It's exhilarating feeling the charge that I did when I was 16... notating a jazz piece, not even really knowing anything about jazz. Or 20... decorating my wall with Post-it notes detailing the plot structure of my latest epic. It's not all glorious, of course - for example, the alternate days spent in bed crying, refusing to eat, and thinking that I am totally worthless and just want to die. But when I'm sitting at my art desk and there is magic in my fingertips, I wonder what the hell I've been doing trying to level my moods in the first place. (Don't tell my psychiatrist I said that.) Could all the suffering be worth it just to have that occasional spark? Today, the answer seems to be "yes". If I can just learn to harness it and think through the proper stages of a project...
I'll feel differently tomorrow, of course, like I always do. It's just been a few enchanting days of glimmering hopes, changes of heart, and grandiose plans. I'd like to at least allow myself to feel some joy. I'm getting somewhat closer to making sense of how to ride those waves without being pulled into a rip tide. At least, I'd like to think so. I would so love to figure out how to channel my energy into actually getting something done. There are so many stories I want to tell!
Here's a dancing silver woman that appeared on my paper.
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