Uncharted Waters.

Not only do I have a job right now, but that job utilizes the words "mandatory overtime". Also, I spend a lot of my "off" time playing an MMO - my first, because I was previously concerned that I am exactly the sort of person who would become completely absorbed in an MMO. Turns out I was right!

I'm enjoying gutting fish in taverns around the world while sporting the finest West African fashions. If you see the above avatar, say hi. I totally have some Quest Mediation Permits you can buy. There's some in-game economic humor. Snerk!

Oh! And here are some of my co-workers.

I'm seeing a behavioral therapist right now, and it's a pretty positive experience. I've done a lot of really intensive talk therapy in the past, but this current school focuses squarely on my attitudes and self-worth. One of the main reasons I don't draw as much as I "should" (would, could, etc.) is that I put so much pressure on myself that if I draw at all, I'm going to Fail, so why bother? Perfection to the point of constipation. So right now I scribble Totoros on my work bench and doodle while I'm sailing in UWO. Just trying to get back into enjoying it and doing it when I feel like it.

Sitting room.

Did some note-taking at my sister-in-law's place while the rest of the family crowded in to tile the bathroom. Here are some "dessert" sketches of a child's face and, of course, my nephew, Stanley the mastiff.

Hands and faces.

Asleep.

Life drawing.

A spouse takes on a lot of cost-effective roles, one of which is a nude model that doesn't require payment or leaving the house. Thanks to my husband, who is a super good sport. Foreshortening terrifies me, but I love the shoulder/armpit/upper arm area so much that I'm willing to work through it.

Once I get warmed up and feel comfortable with anatomy again, I like feeling the different thick-to-thins slide off the graphite oh so naturally. Made up people! Whee!

Oh, and...

We all know how I tend to make comics, right? I sit down and think about the general story point, and then kind of sketch up a page randomly and it tends to work out. I think I have a generalized talent for comics, and tend to ride that as far as I can go. My problem has always been that I coast on talent and then panic when I actually have to develop technical skills. I hate being "told what to do", and fear that following standardized lessons or others' advice will somehow taint my own creativity. Really, I am kind of a lazy artist when it's all said and done... and a bit of a puritan, which I'm trying to cure, because I miss out on a lot of really helpful concepts.

So I finally sat down and did something I never really do:

I sketched out 8 pages of comic on 1/4 sheet of paper each. Thumbnails. Notes. And when I had finished all this, I realized that there were issues that would require further drafting. IMAGINE THAT; the best result might not magically happen on the first try. Is that enough self-loathing? Okay, I'm done.

This was really great. Of course it's always been my dream to have full-length, fantastic graphic novel;  I feel like I'm getting closer.

30 minute life drawing.

Bathing beauty.

Just a little warm-up. Yeah, static poses are boring and don't require a heckuva lotta skill - but when I can do them well, I feel good about myself.

Assorted doodlings.

Things I sketch a lot of:

1) women in general;

2) eyes;

3) profile views;

4) clichéd fantasy babes

Just like being home.

For those who haven't already been informed by the other 3,000,000 social media I use, I have been experiencing a killer withdrawal from one of my psychiatric medications. It makes me do things like sleep until lunchtime, eat chocolate at every opportunity, and run away from home like a 5 year-old. Not kidding. I went to the park and sat in a tree for about 3 hours. Or maybe that's more like running away from home like a cat?

Anyway, I am finally on the up-tick, at least for the time being. Let me tell you, it's N-I-C-E... like, actually being able to experience happiness when it's warranted. NEW CONCEPT. In the midst of this new energy, I recently decided to try some more game/world design. I love terraced cities. So I'm trying to design a small, self-sufficient mountain community fed by an aquifer and/or glacial melt that begins at the temple, traveling through a system of canals. Caste clusters receive the water at different stations, and with varying degrees of contamination from higher castes. Sort of like the concept of a family bathing in the same water, with the head of the household receiving the fresh water and the youngest getting the skunky leftovers from everyone else (hence the saying "throwing the baby out with the bath water"). THE HIGH PRIEST HAS PEED IN YOUR WATER. DRINK IT AND BE GRATEFUL. There's also a cemetery and a couple pastures for grazing rotation. Did someone say yaks?

The fun little sketch that makes my designing chops probably look more impressive than they actually are:

We took the boats down to the shadow forest.

One of my many creative friends is a musician. She recently sent me one of her songs, a 6-minute epic. The lyrics were so bizarrely, wonderfully, symbolically parallel to my own epic that I began sketching up a movie trailer of sorts, set to her song. It's a pipe dream, of course, as I've hardly ever animated - and I have learned not to commit myself to massive projects that simply look good in my head - but it's at least fun to visualize.

A bit of trivia that I like to tell people is that movie trailers make me cry. (The E.T. one kills me.) They are just one of those visual media that is potent, intense, and perfectly-crafted to elicit a gut-punch emotional response. Being an empath, I am absurdly vulnerable to such onslaughts. So I dream up my own movie trailers because they are a wonderful imagination exercise, allow me to stretch my emotional muscles, and spark me to daydream of fame and fortune... even though such things would likely make me into the kind of celebrity that gets hooked on a cocktail of pharmaceuticals and tries to assault paparazzi with kitchen utensils.

So I stick to simple sketches. It's safer.

Creature design.

The concept is that birds evolved from mammals. Accordingly, I threw lemurs, squirrels, bats, etc., in a blender.

Old man, take a look at my life.

I'm a lot like you!

Kitty!

A perspective I always have issues with.

My husband, looking like John F. Kennedy - it was a warm-up! - then tilting his head back at various angles. Practice, practice, practice. I hate this angle because it's hard to know which lines to emphasize and how to keep the face from looking flat (like the bottom left).

Mastiff flop.

Steamboat Follies?

A steampunk radio drama was written by Joe, but pushed aside for a time. When I asked for something new to draw, he dug it up for me and said that it was destined for visual comicry. I couldn't agree more! It was really fun looking up 19th century costume design, and he writes so purdy that it'd be a fantastic project. Who knows! For now, I dream of hoop dresses.

Tab'rin with blue face paint.

My markers are itching to make some comics. Above is a design for my flagship character, Tab'rin, in traditional garb.